Just Three Myths about Personal Change
- All you need is positive thinking
While you won’t find me dismissing the impact of positive thinking, positive thinking alone will not create the change you’re looking for. In fact, nothing changes without action; by changing nothing, nothing changes. I could sit in the apartment all day long thinking positively about my relationship with my work partner in the hope that things will get better between us, but if I don’t actively do something, what are the chances of change? And how am I taking responsibility to create that change?
- People don’t change
Absolute rubbish! Not only do I have personal proof, but I see it in my work every single day. Anyone of us can change for the better at any time we want to, and that’s one of the key ingredients to change—the desire to do it. There’s a huge difference between wanting to change and being unsure how, than simply not wanting to change at all. Wanting to change, knowing what to change and knowing how to change is that magic formula.
- It’s just who I am, I can’t change it
Ridiculous! Yes, harsh, but true. Let me use a recent example to highlight the problem with this statement. While working with a client and exploring her tendency to worry, she told me, There’s no point in us trying to change it. It’s just who I am, Linda, I’m a worrier, I always have been. Always? You weren’t born a worrier, none of us were, so somewhere along the line, we learned how to do the things we do and when to do them, like worry. And now, it might seem like it’s part of you because it’s become a habit. But that’s the great thing about habits, they’re yours—YOU developed them so YOU can break them and YOU can choose to create new ones for yourself.
The choice to change is always yours.